Am I Poisoning My Relationship With My Builder?

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Am I Poisoning My Relationship With My Builder?

Probably the worst realization you can make about yourself is to admit that you are prejudiced.. It makes you pause and look at yourself carefully. I don’t think anyone wants to ever be accused of being prejudiced.

My definition of prejudice is to bring preconceived opinions or judgements into a new relationship expecting the same result. Believe me, as a Orlando, Custom Home Builder, I’ve kissed a lot of frogs over the years. The frogs have cost me lots of money and quite a bit of aggravation. I can tell you from experience, if I bring my prior bad experiences into a new relationship I sow the seeds of disaster into the new one. No matter how painful prior bad experiences have been, I do my best to learn from them, clear those negative emotions and move forward anew. 

I recently met with a couple interested in having me build a New Custom Home for them. They are professional people from a foreign country.  One was a professor with a PhD and the other an accountant. When I mentioned I have a Realtor that I work with that provides a free analysis of their home plans, the husband crossed his arms over his chest and said, absolutely not, I don’t want a Realtor involved in this transaction in any capacity. He went on to say, that all Realtors were incompetent crooks. Frankly, at first I thought he was joking but realized he was dead serious. I was really take aback. Here is somebody that due to his ancestry must have experienced prejudice all his lifetime. People judging him by the color of his skin, accent  and country or origin. A bright, well educated person.

My Realtor and I have been working together for years. Even though she will not be compensated in this particular transaction we refer business to each other. My purpose of introducing Lynn to this couple is to make sure we are developing building plans that will be marketable sometime in the future when this home will be placed on the market. It may be years from now or after their demise. It’s a service I provide to all my new Custom Home Buyers. From my Realtors perspective, she meets homeowners that may remember her help if they ever need a Realtor. Frankly, it’s a win, win for all of us. I like transactions like that.

Many times when I first meet with new home buyers, they walk into our first meeting like they have 2 six-shooters mounted on both hips, one eye squinted closed and extra ammunition belts strapped across their chests. It looks like something out of an old western movie. They are loaded for bear!

Due to some prior bad lifetime experience their questions are pointed with a determination not to be ripped off again. They feel like they were squeezed like a loaf of "Wonder Bread" after their last home building experience. I spend the next several meetings and sometimes the entire time building their house getting them to trust me. 

The basis of any relationship is trust. Imagine being married and always looking over the shoulder of your spouse trying to make sure they are being faithful. Not only is it exhausting but you sow the seeds of disaster into that marriage. You have to trust your spouse and the people you do business with.

I find 98% of the people I meet in life just want a fair shake. Perhaps, 2% mean me harm. I've decided to live my life based upon the good 98% instead of the 2%.

Just like your family will ruin your marriage if they constantly tell you your spouse doesn’t measure up the same thing can happen when you build a Custom Home. I suggest, like any new relationship you wade in carefully and judge your builder by what you experience and not by what others say or prior bad experiences. 

For more information on this topic I suggest you read a prior blog post titled “ Is Building A Custom Home Fun”? at http://actvra.in/4Jgm

Have an awesome day!

Mike